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♥Mixed feelings
  I feel so upset, and moody recently. It's seems that nothing can make me happy. I want to be happy. I want to be cheerful. I want to be positive. But everything I do seems to pull me down. Things around me are getting so complicated and I feel like my life is Turing up side Down. I have to cry myself to sleep almost every night. Sometimes I just feel like being alone. Sometimes I just feel like screaming my lungs out. Sometimes I just feel like crying out really loud while banging my head against the wall. Sometimes I just feel like slashing my hands with a pen knife. Sometimes I just feel like dying. Really. I really don't know why I will have such wired thoughts and feelings. I think I might really get depression soon. I think what had happened to me recently is really a big blow to me. I don't know how to help myself up. I wish I can drink my sorrows away. People told me to move on. Some told me to compromise. Sometimes I really wonder to myself: am I born to compromise others for the rest of my life? I've been doing it since primary school. When I was in kindergarten, other kids treated me like a doll? And all bullied me. When it comes to primary school, I suck up to all my classmates. I gave them what they wanted. When I came to secondary school, I finally managed to find a clique that willing to keep me. And all I did was to shallow my pride and do the things that they like. It's as good as me having no feelings of my own because I have to spare a thought for others and none did it for me. In relationships too, first guy came and took my heart. Next threw it away. He came back and beg me for forgiveness and I did. He cheated. Second guy came, and tried his best to win my heart, after a month he did. But he broke it. Devastated was I, but no one was there for me. Forth guy came, and I decided to play with him, and lucky I did. He was not faithful either. I was really disappointed with myself, for being so soft and I give in to people too easily. The fifth guy came, and I was too afraid to hand my fragile heart to him. I was really frightened by love and relationships. Sometimes I feel that I shouldn't get married. I did accept his love, but has not conffident with this relationship at all. Its been a year since we get together, but I hope I didn't make the wrong choice. I can't take another heart break, cause I will literally break down. I swear. I'm really tired of the kind of life that I'm living. Sometimes I just feel like giving up. Or is it that the way I think and feel is totally different from others? Why is it that no one spare a thought for me? Why is it that they always think of themselves and treated me like as if I'm invisible? And why is it everyone thinks that I have to follow whatever they say? Why why why?
Loves, Samantha
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*Big waves to you sitting in front of your monitor*
The name's Samantha.D, it's simple. I took my first breath in 1994. I shall blow off the increasing number of candles each year on Eight of January.
I am a typical schoolgirl just like you and loves to laugh. 
I always turn on my radio in the night and tune in to 91.3FM!
The biggest baby pooh on earth 
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